The Good Life

Waiting for Better

2008-07-02T23:58:00.002-05:00

I have had a couple people ask me why I haven't posted anything in a while. Two reasons: no internet access at home due to trying to save money which leads to reason two...having a kid or kids around. Not only do they suck all the time out of your day (not necessarily in a bad way) but they cost a lot too. However, I am at my sister's house for a while and they DO have the internet. So here's the certain-to-be-disappointing-after-waiting-so-long post.

Have you ever wanted something really badly (a shirt, a car, a house, a person, or just anything) and not received it? Well we obviously know the answer to that silly question is a resounding "YES!" It seems to me that when this situation occurs you always end up with something better in the end if you're working for God. His way is always superior to our ways because our ways are inevitably selfish. I'm thankful for the Lord saving me from many stupidity-ridden selfish decisions that didn't happen for this or that reason(s).

I've been so blissfully happy over the last eight or ten months and they've been some of the hardest in my life - or so it would seem on paper. Since I have resigned to doing things God's way only, I have an inexplicable peace. I'm content and satisfied with ANY situation even when it is the exact opposite of what I thought I wanted in the first place. God is so gracious, patient, and loving. I'm so happy to be privileged enough to be his hands and feet in this short life.

Innocence

2007-11-26T21:38:00.000-06:00

I love the innocence possessed by little children. Tonight as I was reading Kealani to sleep, she asked whether or not the cricket, mouse, and cat who are in the story knew it was Thanksgiving. How sweet is that?

2007-10-30T22:26:00.000-05:00

I have a deep sense of fulfillment here of late. I have experienced things as a foster mother that I don't think I ever would have experienced in any other facet of my life. Just tonight, Kealani and I bought a peel off face rejuvenating mask. It was so fun putting it on our faces, watching her try to resist the urge to rub it off before it dried, seeing the battle that ensued with her face as a result of rubbing it too thin to be able to peel it off properly, then watching her giggle her head off as I viciously scrubbed at the residue she couldn't peel off. Hearing her utter over and over again that she hoped she wasn't going to pull her eyeballs out as she tore the "skin" off her face was just hilarious. She gets so excited about things…little, tiny things that would be almost meaningless to calloused adults, that I can hardly contain myself FOR her.

I have also had this sense of overwhelming joy at how kind natured so many people are. After the devastating loss of Jonathon, I was really down on mankind in general and feeling like things were so bleak and people so inherently evil that I almost couldn’t bear the emotional burden of it all. So many people have proven just the opposite to me in the last few days though.

It started Friday afternoon in the Dollar Tree when the lady in front of us was so sweetly smiling at the three girls I had with me and talking so kindly to them. She overheard them talking about the gummy eyeball candy by the checkout and heard us discussing them at length. She told the girls that she actually thought she needed some gummy eyeballs and added them to her slew of items. Once the cashier rung them up, she turned around to us, handed us the gummy eyeballs, and told us she knew we needed them and wanted to give them to us. That was so overwhelmingly kind, that I almost burst into tears at that moment. God used that lady to begin to restore my faith in mankind that day. That one simple act of buying a package of one dollar gummy eyeballs did me wonders and put a huge smile on the face of the girls to boot. Those eyeballs were the best gummy candies I’ve ever tasted. I’m pretty sure it had little to do with the actual taste.

A couple of days later, my real estate agent showed up at the school. She had some papers for me to sign. Over the last week and a half, I’ve thought that the deal on the house might be doomed to failure because of the results of the inspection. However, to ensure that the seller would pay the costs of the needed repairs, not only did my sweet real estate lady decide to sacrifice her share of the commission, but so did the seller’s agent (who, I might add, I have never even met). He heard about me and Kealani through our real estate lady. He wanted to help me have a place to better serve others and for Kealani to have the peace of mind that she associates with a house. What complete kindness! They have both put SO much time and effort into getting that house sold, and now they’re doing it out of the kindness of their hearts alone.

If that isn’t enough to restore your faith in mankind, yesterday, one of my fellow teachers heard about some eye problems Kealani has. The procedure (which so far isn’t covered by her medical insurance) could theoretically cost up to $10,000. The eye specialist estimates about $3,500. My fellow teacher knows a man who works for an eye doctor. He contacted the guy and told him about Kealani’s situation. He said that if they don’t take her insurance, even if he has to provide the treatment for her himself, they won’t charge us a penny. In addition to that, he agreed to find a way to get her glasses for free if we didn’t have a way to do that already. This man has never even MET me or Kealani.

WOW is all I can say to all of these things. God is good all the time…all the time God is good!

Jonathan Chandler

2007-10-27T22:14:00.000-05:00

A very special big oaf of a teddy bear, Jonathan Chandler was one of my favorite assistants at school. He was the assistant in Kealani's classroom and always bent over backwards to communicate to me what she needed help with at home.

On a broader note, he was always confiding in me about his desires to be more like what God wanted him to be and asking me to pray for him. He was quick to pass out compliments and slow to accept them due to his humble nature. He could reprimand a child softly but nothing beyond that because he didn't want to break their spirits. When kids were shouting and carrying on nonsensically around him, he just spoke softly to them and tried to help them calm down and come to their senses.

A couple of days ago, Jonathan was shot and killed. I still don't really believe it happened. I've seen it on the news a few times and we've all talked about it umpteen times as well as shared our favorite goofy Jonathan memories, not to mention crying about it quite a bit. However, I still keep waiting for him to walk through the door of the teacher's workroom in his big loafers and striped button up shirt. Today as I attended some P.E. training that none of the other teachers wanted to come to (and I can't say I blame them) even though I was supposed to bring another person from school , I started thinking about why I hadn't asked Jonathan to come. I knew if I would have asked him personally, he would have come if he wasn't working at his other job. I forgot for a moment that I couldn't ask him to do things like that anymore because it doesn't feel like he's really gone.

Jonathan really wanted to help me coach basketball. He had volunteered after last year's season was over (right around the time he was hired) to coach this year. His circumstances were such though, that he was going to have to wait until next year. He had taken on a second job at McDonald's to be in better financial position. He was wanting to get his college degree and was working towards that goal by working to put himself in a better financial position. Mr. Chandler had his faults like all of us, but he worked so hard at trying to overcome the sins that were his particular vices. He wasn't opposed to asking for help and really epitomized how Christians should depend upon one another to be held accountable and to grow in their faith. He surrounded himself with people who would build him up and focused on trying to help others be built up as well.

I really hope they catch his killer, but more importantly I hope I (and others) grow from this as opposed to allowing this to weaken my (our) faith. Seeing how his closest friends in the faith are taking this, the pendulum is swinging away from the faith weakening to the faith building end of the spectrum. What a shame though that someone robbed those precious kids of a good, black male mentor, role model, and friend. I hope they will remember how JC turned his life around from the spiritual dumps of his teenage years into a Godly spiritual beacon of hope to all who have had such deep struggles such as the ones Jonathan fought with over the years.

Car Seat Races

2007-09-30T23:55:00.001-05:00

This is what happens when you leave a couple of kids alone for a few minutes.

Tony Hall, my beloved friend

2007-09-13T23:05:00.000-05:00

One of my lifelong best friends passed away tonight. He fought valiantly for a little over two years until he finally received peace from his battle with brain cancer. Tony was 36 years old and had a second grade and three year old daughter. His sister has also been one of my best friends for years. I am happy he's gone home, but will miss him greatly until I join him there. Here is a letter I sent to his email address. In case, no one opens his email, I am posting this for others to read. He truly was an inspirational person.

I don't know if anybody will get this email now that Tony is gone. Just in case though, I wanted to share some of my thoughts and some of my favorite memories of Tony with whoever gets into his email if someone does.

The summer I met Tony more than casually was when he taught my grade in Bible class at Robert Paul's week. I was a sophomore at that time. I went to church all the time and read my Bible somewhat frequently. However, in that class Tony scrapped the material and got down to the nitty gritty so to speak. He opened my eyes to my lack of knowledge and faith and gave me a desire to nurture my relationship with my God. Because of this one session of camp this one summer through Tony's class my faith became my own and real and a priority in my life. It became more than politeness and niceties.

The next summer I got in cahoots with Tony and Tim Bills. They were trying to catch the "LuJo Mercenaries" who actually had the gall to steal stuffed animals out of the girls' dorms. Tony took me into his confidence and confessed that it was actually he and Tim who were taking the goods. I became their accomplice and smuggled many items out to them on the DL. The funniest part about it was that they left a note each time they stole something. The created an emblem which later that week or maybe even later that summer they found out was a devil-worshipping cult symbol. Oops! We had a good laugh about the fact that the key players in the church camp staff were using those symbols without a clue.

Another fond memory of Tony I have is the way he took Geoff Parker under his wing. Geoff was a mentally challenged young man who delighted many. Geoff was a central figure in our time at LuJo and made a huge impact on the lives of the campers as well as the staff. I'm so thankful to Tony for allowing Geoff to be a part of our special week.

I will never forget the way Tony would always pretend he heard girls to say their names were "Bertha" when he introduced himself to them. Some of them got a kick out of that (most of them) but some were just plum scared. Either way, eventually they all loved the "Bertha" joke.

I also remember knocking doors with Tony in St. Louis. He was always trying to bring out the strengths in everyone and knew just how to pair them up to do so. He paired me with someone knocking doors and although at first I didn't understand why he made the pair he did, when he explained it to me, I thought it was a genius pairing. I think that year on that amazing and lofty-goaled (yet supremely accomplished) mission trip, I really got to see the deeper sides of both Tony and Phillip. They were so human where as before they had been these almost unreal figures I held on a pedestal. I treasure that week so much and always have.

And oh the band Styx. Every time I hear them on the radio I think of the cassette tapes he brought on our trip to St. Louie. Kelly Woodcock was the only teenage boy who appreciated them or even knew who they were.

Later on when Tony became so ill, he called me one night to talk. In all his strife he wanted to know what was going on in my life. At the time, I had just lost one of my former students who was innocently killed in a gang shooting. I was really struggling though I didn't want to tell Tony because I knew he had his plate full with his own struggles. When I told him I didn't want to even say I had any problems because of what he and his family were going through, he lovingly reprimanded me and told me that everyone's problems are equally as burdensome to them, they just take different forms and he really wanted to hear what was going on with me. I told him through tear-stained eyes and knew that this could be one of the last talks I had with him like that. Although he fought hard and lived well beyond that talk leaving time for several more, that is one I will always hold dear to my heart.

If someone is reading this, please know that I loved Tony as much or more than anyone I can think of. I never had a brother in the secular sense, but Tony was that for me in so many ways. I am striving to be a strong Christian every day largely in part to his early influence on me. These memories I've shared are just the tip of the iceberg. I have numerous memories of talks in the director's cabin with he, Phillip, and the workers (and even Jennifer Curry back in the day), and in the director's office, and many other places in and outside of camp. My prayer now is that we will carry on his torch and strive to avoid dropping the ball on the works he held so dear and the things in which he was so gifted. I am happy he is at peace and has been called home and this provides me with a peace that really does pass understanding. I can't wait to meet him there soon!

Pressing on for the cause of Christ,
Joy

"Older Eyez"

2007-09-07T08:38:00.000-05:00

So yesterday I got a message from a woman on MySpace asking me if I went to high school with her. She did indeed go to Big Mac, my alma mater, but she graduated in 76. When I replied that I did graduated from MacArthur but I was born after she graduated, she sent me a message back saying that it must be the "older eyez." Now she wasn't talking about her older eyes not seeing well (though one can hope that's applicable). She was referring to my eyes looking older than my age. Now tell me this, do I look 50 years old to anyone? I hope it has more to do with her mind than my eyes. I do have it listed to where it says I'm 57 on my MySpace page. Maybe that fooled her. However, I also have it listed that I'm 3'7" and that I'm a "midgik." No one has inquired about that yet.

Chucky

2007-09-04T21:39:00.001-05:00

K: "Joy, how do you kill..."
Me: "What, hon?"
K: "I can't remember, I'll ask you in the morning."
Me: "Okay. Don't forget."
K: "Now I remember. How do you kill Chucky?"
Me: "Chucky is NOT real."
K: "But what if he was."
Me: "God would never let Chucky be real. He takes care of us."

What else do you say to a kid who talks about Chucky once every week or two as they're falling to sleep?

The Non-Relationship

2007-09-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in a non-relationship? You know what I mean. The kind of relationship in which you are dating without calling it by that name? Whether you have a physical relationship or not, you can be dating a person without saying you are.

I am a person who seems to non-date far more often than actual dating. I guess I just convince myself after each non-dating experience that I would never allow myself to non-date again (because those types of relationships don't usually end well, do they?) so I will go on for weeks, months, or even years non-dating a person because I've fooled myself into thinking that I'm not non-dating because, as I've already stated, I won't allow myself to do that.

Have you ever non-dated? Have you ever mentally beat yourself up because you allowed yourself to non-date - even if unwittingly so (possibly due to your superior ability of denial)? I wonder if the next time I non-date someone I will be able to identify the fact that I'm non-dating them BEFORE it doesn't end well and causes permanent damage to an otherwise magnificent friendship. Maybe if I would just actually allow myself to date (not just in deed, but also in name), I wouldn't end up non-dating so much. Hmmm, I guess I'll try that out soon...

The Good Ol' Days

2007-08-26T00:16:00.000-05:00

Do you remember the days in junior high school when you had a huge crush on someone and you would get butterflies every time you saw them or thought about them? I haven't felt that way in years in years until this week. I have this GINORMOUS crush on a friend of my friend and I can't stop smiling about it. I feel like a kid again. It could pan out to be something or nothing, but even if nothing ever comes of it I am so pumped to know I CAN feel that way again. I thought those years were gone for good. :)

That's Uh-guisting!

2007-08-09T22:27:00.000-05:00

Here are some more things from Kealani:

"I am watching the diarrhea movie (Princess Diaries 2)."
Kealani: "You look so fat, but that's not nice to say so I'm not going to say it." Me: "You just did." Kealani: "Hahaha!"
"I think _____ likes every girl in the world! I just really do."
"I love that the most in the whole life (wide) world."
"If that puppy bites me it's no big deal...I'll just chop his head off. Then I'm going to slap him. Then I'm gonna do sumpin to it if it bite me."
"Don't tell anybody I fixed my own hair."
"You canNOT dance!"
"This is my favorite part...(seven seconds pass)...this is my favorite part...(five more seconds pass)...this is my favorite part..."
"They like eachuther?...(seven seconds pass)...they like eachuther?...(five more seconds pass)...they like eachuther?..."
"EEEeeewww! I do NOT like it when people kiss!"
Me: "What do you want for breakfast?" Kealani: "Ramen noodles with hot sauce." Me: "What do you want for lunch?" Kealani: "Ramen noodles with hot sauce." Me: "What do you want for dinner?" Kealani: "Ramen noodles with hot sauce." Me: "What do you want for snack?" Kealani: "Ramen noodles with hot sauce."

I still have my big toe

2007-08-07T14:54:00.000-05:00

When I was a sixth grader at the great Crosby Park Elementary, I went to Padre Island on Spring Break. During my stint at the beach, I tripped over a dead crab. It hurt ever so badly, but my parents dismissed it as drama. Over the next few weeks, it became increasingly more painful. My limp got worse and worse and everyone around me thought me to be faking. Imagine them thinking that about a dramatic sixth grade girl - go figure!

Finally about five or six weeks into the pain, I peeled off the scab and squeezed my toe (I know it's gross but I was ten years old or so). To my amazement, out popped the point to a crab's pincher. I went crazy, but not as crazy as my mom. When we took the culprit to the doctor to show him he told me I was lucky I didn't lose my toe. I don't know how I would have functioned without my big toe, so I'm sure glad it was okay.

When I saw this dead crab on the beach during my recent trip to Florida, I just got a kick out of thinking about that old story. I hope you did too.

4th of July Antics

2007-07-13T20:49:00.000-05:00

Squeeze Me...Freak Accident or Intentional Prank?

The Gray Beauty

2007-07-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

Ode to the Gray Beauty

Oh Gray Beauty, my loyal wallet, you have served me well
How my heart will ache for finally throwing you out only time will tell.
You served me nearly a decade and held my money dear
You never complained as you wore out year after very long year.

When I overstuffed you with credit cards you never did complain
The pressed flowers on the front of you always did remain.
Even when your snap wore out I couldn't bare to part
With my little Gray Beauty I held so near and dear to my heart.

Although you have been replaced and thrown out with the trash
I never will forget you or the time we spent together in the past.
As you rot in some landfill always keep in mind
Never will I find another wallet I think so very fine.

HP5

2007-07-11T03:16:00.000-05:00

Oh man, oh man, oh man! I rarely think so highly of a movie as I did of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix tonight (or should I say this morning?). It was GREAT!!! I love going to the 12:01 a.m. showings because people from all walks of life come out in full force and then mob mentality takes over. The whole crowd cheers, jeers, laughs and cries together. The high quality of the movie just made it that much more enjoyable. Go see it. You will like it if you know any of the plot line from the past at all.

2007-07-09T23:56:00.000-05:00

I really would like for everybody in the world to have the experience of Kealani dictating a letter to them. However, since that is not possible, I wanted to share with you a letter I typed for her (word for word and often spelled the way she said it unless it affected the clarity).

Here it is:

Dear Meagan,

How sweet you are to have a boy (meaning boyfriend). You is so nice. Here he come..."Davin" Davin. I love Davin (David). Davin, Hi! Remember your little friend Kealani? I'm Chucky too (yes, as in the doll) . I say tell your girlfriend that too. What did I say? Hope you get this letter soon. That's all I can remember.

I say come at my house one day and stay for a few hours. I say we still got this cat. We just took it home yesterday.

What I say? I love you Meagan. Have a nice day together. I love you Davin. I was great having you at summer church...something like that...I can't remember what it's called. Yeah, I mean church camp. And Meagan you too having you there to be my teacher. I love you too. I love you most of the time. I love Sarah most of the time. I love all my teachers. I love all the teachers that help me take baths.

We miss you good. We miss you mad. Sometimes we even miss you sad. We cry for you. Jesus died on the cross for you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We luf luf luf luf you! You love me too. We miss you good. We miss you sad. We miss you mad. God love you. Lord love you. Jesus luf you. Everyone from the holy name luf you. Bye bye.

Once a while I have some more words before I say bye bye. This is gonna be a long letter to you. Cause I snap my fingers, I turn that note, I say gimme that "pitcher" back. What I say? WHAT I SAY? The Lord luf you. The Lord luf you. The Lord luf you. __________________________________________________________________
This is a song: The Lord luf you. The Lord miss you. The Lord take care vuv you. He luf you, He luf you and once again me and Joy love you. Amen! Bye Bye!

Love,
Kealani

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Counselor

2007-06-24T23:58:00.000-05:00

Here are some things I learned my first week of church camp this summer:

1. I don't like plunging toilets full of others' excrement.

2. Jesus wants me to be willing to do things that I don't like for Him - even if it is plunging toilets.

3. I hope I will have the strength to grin and bear it as life throws toilets in need of plunging my way.

4. No amount of washing your hands can make you feel clean after you plunge a toilet.

5. If you want a broken doorknob fixed, grad a Phillips and do it yourself.

6. I wonder why it took me until the last day to figure out number 5.

7. When you are a foster parent of a high-energy child, you indeed can get more rest at camp...even when you are the counselor for senior high girls.

8. Teenage girls don't go to sleep at "lights out" now any more than they did when I was that
age...and I still don't think they should.

9. Horses on trail rides can get spooked even when the man leading the trail rides assures you it will most likely not happen.

10. The trail leader was right when he said to keep weight on your legs because you WILL fall
off the horse if it gets spooked and takes off when you don't have said weight in your legs.

11. Kids you had to convince to get on the horse don't take it well when their horse gets spooked and multiple others fall off their horses - hyperventilation can and most likely will occur under these circumstances.

12. Young girls caught up in their Judge Judy skit won't stop their skit if they're "not finished" until you clap them off the stage.

13. Some adults care about cabin cleanup as much as the campers and I am not one of them.

14. Grown ups can grow just as much spiritually as the kids at camp.

15. The verse on the mirror the counselor was asking if you noticed and/or read is not "Please do not flush sanitary products down the toilet."

Kealanish

2007-06-09T00:25:00.000-05:00

I will now write a dialogue full of things you might hear Kealani say. If you need it, there will be an interpretation throughout.

Kealani: I need to eat some Ramen noodles with hot sauce. I am on the counch (couch) looking for the remoke (remote). When I find it we are goin to the cah (car) where we gonna put on our seek belks (seat belts). We gotta go to Wal Mark (Wal Mart). We already been there twice times today. I hope we don't see a tormato (tornado). Turn on the radio Big Banilla Head (Joy)...please! Now my name is Kealani and when I get done sangin (singing) I'm gonna point to you and then it's your turn to sang. If you don't sang I'm gonna...

Joy: Watch what is coming out of your mouth little girl!

Kealani: ...I'm gonna say, "That's okay." *Musical interlude...I wanna go together (to heaven), I wanna go together (to heaven). You got stank bref girlfriend. Can we go to sebun elebun and get an I-S-E-E, I see (icee)? Don't forget to cook me some Ramen noodles with hot sauce. Can I go swimmin? I'm savin up my money to buy my mom a house.

Joy: How much money do you think you would need to buy a house?

Kealani: Twenty or thirty dollars.

Joy: It would take a little more than that.

Kealani: Okay. Thirty-one dollars.

:)

Don't Forget About the Duck in the Water

2007-06-07T00:58:00.000-05:00

Over the past couple of months I have tried to provide my ward with fun and memorable experiences. We have been to Texas, shopping, to the park umpteen times, to the movies, had a tea party, had many other fun activities, and been many other exciting places. However, I have found that the simplest things are what she enjoys the most. We could swim all day every day this summer in our pool for free and she would be perfectly happy.

Today before my friend Jill picked her up to hang out with her brother for a while, we walked over to said pool to see if anybody was swimming. We didn't find any people in the pool but there was a pretty little mallard duck that looked as content to be in the pool as Kealani herself. She was so thrilled at the sight of the duck in the pool that she squealed with glee. *Both she and I were much happier to see the duck in the water than the snake we found last week. Shortly after the duck sighting, she went with her brother and Jill. She didn't mention it again once she got home a couple hours later.

When bedtime approached we popped in the Disney classic Pollyanna and she quickly started falling prey to Mr. Sandman. As I eased away from her once she was unconscious, the jolt woke her ever so slightly and as clear as day she said, "Don't forget about the duck in the water." The simplest and most forgettable event of the day (to me anyway) was the one thing her mostly asleep little brain thought of before she dozed back off again.

As adults, we get so bogged down with the busy little details in life that we don't think about the little things which excited us as children. So I would like to pass the same advice onto you that I got from a sleeping seven year old sage...Don't forget about the duck in the water!

Have a blessed day!

More Funny Sayings From a Seven Year Old

2007-05-27T01:53:00.000-05:00

Book money (book buddy)

I'm seventeen. I'm just a little midgik (midget) girl.

I can't swaller my water. (If you're from Oklahoma, that one doesn't need interpretation)

Don't make me do "Kong Fu" on you. I'll have to karate chop your head off.

Tormato (tornado)

Oooooooooooo! You got a good thinkin' mind!

If you forget (snap), don't throw a fit 'cause you got the mind in your head.

Big Banilla (Vanilla)

2007-05-20T21:34:00.000-05:00

My new name is now "Big Banilla" (Vanilla). This is coming from the self-proclaimed "Big Chicken." Other names she's freely handed out are "Chicken Bref" (breath), Chocolate Banilla Bref, and "Chocolate Banilla Bracelets Teef Bref (Chocolate Vanilla Braced Teeth Breath - isn't that a mouthful???).

In addition to my new name and those of others, there has been a language barrier I have been trying to overcome the last month and a half. Some of these examples have taken longer to overcome than others. I'm beginning to understand why no one in my family can understand my little friend on the phone.

Example #1 - New lyrics to "The Lord's Army" - I may never march in the impotent, ride in the Calgary, shoot the utility...

Example #2 - A friend of Kealani's at school is named Catalina Huerta (I have changed the first name to preserve anonymity). She calls her Catalina "What the?"

Example #3 - Sebun Elebun (7-11)

Example #4 - After much argument over the matter (especially after she has just spelled it for me) she is still convinced that the store is called Wal Mark and calls the safety restraining device in the car a seek belk.

Example #5 - A blast from the past from Sir Mix A Lot...I got big butts in a candy line

There are a million others each day that are just as funny if not funnier. For some reason though I can't remember any more right now. Could it be that I have become a single parent of a seven year old over night and I can't remember anything anymore? I think I'm onto something there! That could be the case sense I try to go get something to write the funny things she's said down but forget what I've gone to retrieve by the time I get to the pencil and paper. :)

Despite the lack of a brain these days, the constant fatigue, and the lack of a social life anymore, when this is all said and done in a few weeks I'm going to miss the constant excitement and adventure motherhood brings. I will joyfully sleep for two or three days straight though. :)

Survivor

2007-05-13T23:18:00.000-05:00

For the past several seasons, I have watched Survivor out of habit and the still earnest desire to be on it myself and kick some serious butt. However, this season has probably been the best ever. Finally there happened to be a player that followed through with the types of strategies that I always wondered why the people on the island never thought to use. Not only was he strategic, he also won several challenges and despite being nearly twice the age of some of his competitors. Unfortunately my friend Yau Man got voted out the day before he had a shot at the million. I will have to avenge him someday when I make my appearance.

If you missed this season or have never watched before, you can check out all the episodes at cbs.com for free. The two best episodes of Survivor EVER came from this season. This would be a good season to start watching.

More Pics

2007-05-08T22:16:00.000-05:00

As my time with Kealani starts to come to an end, it is hard to believe what all we've been able to do and the oodles of fun we've already had. I am so thankful that the Lord chose to bless me more than I could ever imagine by letting Kealani live with me for a short while. This makes me look all the more forward to heaven. It's greatness and God's greatness are incomprehensible. I hope she and I can make the most of our last few weeks together in our current arrangment. I will keep you posted...no pun intended.

Roy's Twin

2007-05-06T22:26:00.000-05:00

If you know me, you know that I thorougly enjoy the NBC show The Office. Recently on Facebook I found a friend of one of my friends who looks like Roy. Not the old Roy, but the new Roy (before he went crazy on Jim and was fired from Dunder Mifflin). I don't know this guy, but added him as a friend anyway violating my "don't add someone I don't know as a friend" policy. I just couldn't resist. I have such a crush on the pre-crazy new Roy I couldn't help myself. So you can see what I mean, I posted Roy and this guy's picture. Judge for yourself.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2007-04-26T21:58:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share some things my little friend has prayed for each night over the past few weeks.

Lord thank you for letting me laugh
I hope the tea party comes soon
Thanks for letting me see Miss Rainey's boyfriend (referring to a young man from Wilshire who is about ten years younger than myself who leads singing whom she loudly proclaims for some reason or another is my boyfriend each time he's at the podium)
Thanks for letting me spend the night at Mrs. Wells' house
Thanks for letting me see "my baby" (Mrs. Wells' son)
Thanks for letting me stay at Miss Rainey's house
Help me to go home soon
Help my brother to act right and quit getting in trouble at school
Help that noisy little girl outside to go to bed so I can fall asleep
Thank you for this great day we had
Thanks for letting us have fun

There are many more I wish I remembered because they were so innocent, sweet, and funny but I can't remember them right now. Hopefully some of them will come back to me in the future.

Mike McDonald Fun Run and Tea Party Pics

2007-04-21T22:10:00.000-05:00

Tea Party and More Mommy Pics

2007-04-18T22:52:00.000-05:00

This Saturday has the potential to be the most exciting secular event in which I've ever participated. Kealani is hosting a "Tea Party" at our house. We are dressing up complete with fancy hats (Thank You Dillard's!). We will be having cold and hot teas with coffee cake, cookies, deviled eggs, chicken salad, croissants, fruits and veggies with dips, and most of all...tons of fun! Many of the staff from school are coming including a teacher, two paraprofessionals, the director, the librarian, and possibly the principal.

Every couple of hours Kealani asks me if it is the tea party day yet. Sometimes she remembers what day it currently is and what day the tea party is taking place and deducts how many days are left. Other times she is so overcome with excitement (which is indeed contagious) that she wonders if we are about ready to start at that very moment. We will have some quality time together Friday in preparation doing things like fixing her hair (I'm getting better and faster at this each time - see below), shopping for the groceries necessary to fix the goodies, and actually preparing the dishes. I am also going to prepare some fun games for us all to play.

I will definitely be posting about the tea party in the near future. There will be lots of pics for sure! Also, anybody who is interested can check out all my pictures from New York City on my Facebook account. That already seems like ten lifetimes ago. Time flies when you're having fun!

I can't get any pictures to post so I'll have to try again next time.

Love

2007-04-15T22:07:00.000-05:00

Over the last two weeks I have learned a lot more about love. Here are some things I have learned.

Even if you can't imagine it possible, you can love someone enough to clip their toenails.
Cleaning up any mess you couldn't stomach thinking could happen in your home is easy and far from an imposition when you love someone.
You don't mind not sleeping in when you love someone who is scared when they are awake and you are asleep.
When someone you love wants something, you want it for them too.
When you love someone your feelings don't get easily hurt by what they say or don't say.
Your patience grows exponentially when you love someone.
Your wants and wishes become secondary to those of the person you love.
You start to appreciate the sacrifices others have made for you in life a lot more when it is your turn to make those sacrifices.
God's love for me is even more unfathomable than I previously thought.
God's love is the number one thing you want to share with someone you love...even if they don't want to hear it.
When they don't want to hear it, it is even more important to make sure they can see it in you.

I hope that all those reading this can experience the joy, elation, and fulfillment that parenthood has to offer...even if for a very brief time like myself. It will definitely make you a better person if you allow it to do so!

Mom Part 2

2007-04-08T20:12:00.000-05:00

We had a great Easter weekend. Here are some pics to show some of the highlights. I'm learning how to fix her hair...slowly. :)

Cooking Spaghetti

Easter Eggs

Easter Clothes

Fixing each other's hair

Mom

2007-04-03T21:46:00.000-05:00

I have been called mom, mommy, or mama a hundred times in the last week. None of them by my new foster child who cannot break the habit of calling me Miss Rainey. I wouldn't know what in the world she would call me besides Miss Rainey so that's fine with me.

Foster motherhood has been a HUGE adventure already in its early stages. So far in the last twenty seven hours or so we have shopped for groceries (much harder to do with a small child asking for everything she sees) and clothes shopping (much harder with a small child asking for everything she sees). Checking out with the groceries and food was hilarious when my foster daughter told/asked the cashier, "Do you know I live with a teacher?!? And don't even think about smoking in front of a say-anything-she-pleases seven year old child. When running an errand today she saw someone smoking, looked her square in the eye, and said, "SICK!"

Don't even think you can imagine how my perspective has changed towards the mothers of my students at school. It is all I can do to get the child fed, clothed, bathed, homework done, and Bible story read to her each day (and this is just day two...and there's just one of her). How do the moms with four, five, or even nine kids do it? They can't. First grade homework is easy mind you. My perspective on that has not changed. However, my perspective on the ease of getting easy homework done HAS changed. It is hard to get a little girl to concentrate on math facts when she knows there's a tea party set down the hall calling her name.

It is amazing how all the things you are accustomed to as a single person living alone can just vanish and you not even know they're gone. I haven't turned on the t.v. in more than two days and haven't missed it at all. I'm wondering how anyone with kids ever has time to feed them and still watch t.v. Perspective is almost everything in life and this, it is safe to say already, will have changed mine forever.

Forgive me for the lack of post on my fabulous and exciting NYC trip. I have a feeling I won't feel capable of a post like that for some time, especially if I want pictures to be involved.

I am fully aware that this is a scatterbrained post. I just don't have time to put my thoughts together any other way if I want to equip myself with enough sleep to stay ahead of the seven year old temporarily living with me. I hope two weeks from now I will have gained some brainpower back!

New York City Here I Come

2007-03-10T20:36:00.000-06:00

Though I am exceedingly under prepared, I will be departing on Tuesday for a nine day stint in New York City. I am excited, nervous, giddy, anxious, and eager. My colleague, Annie, and I will be attending some sort of arts convention for the first five days. I have a feeling we won’t attend every single portion of the convention, but that should be an experience in and of itself. Being around artsy people from all over the country in a place like New York City should equip me with many tales for those of you who would like to hear them upon my return.

I have received so much advice on where to go from so many people that if I stayed there for nine months rather than nine days, I couldn’t possibly see it all. My goal is to see as much of it as I can, and not fret about what there isn’t time to see. On our free days, our goal is to do touristy things while taking opportunities to speak to people about God. My traveling companion is a very spiritually mature person. Though she is my junior by several years, in many ways I look up to her spiritually. I hope that she and I will be able to inspire one another to achieve our spiritual goals on this journey.

Please pray for our well-being on this expedition. I am sure I will have many pictures and stories to share when I get back.

My Nephews

2007-03-04T20:38:00.000-06:00

Tax Season

2007-02-05T21:06:00.000-06:00

I am pretty sure that I did my taxes wrong this year. What leads me to this conclusion is that right now I seem to owe over $204,000 on my state return. It also seems that I owe a penalty of more than $17,000. Seeing as how the penalty alone is nearly half of what I make, I have a feeling I have done something really wrong. I hate doing my taxes. It seems to get a hundred times more complicated every year. YUCK!

Hornets

2007-01-29T17:36:00.000-06:00

In answer to Denver's comment on my last post, I decided to put up some pictures of a recent adventure some of my basketball players and I had at a Hornets game. While I know the obvious reaction to his comment would be to assume that the Hornets organization had heavily recruited me to be their new star center, it was actually a won contest that brought me to the court. I, along with a few of my fearless coworkers, punched out a thousand all-star ballots before a game one night. I also punched out (with the help of one of my players' aunts) another two thousand+ at the Hornets game the night we won the contest. As a result of punching out the most ballots, I got to take all of my basketball players who were in attendance at the game down to the court to receive an autographed basketball signed by all the players and two floor seats to the next home game. In addition to that, the PR guy showed the kids around downstairs and made up "prize packs" for them all to take home. It was very neat for all of us to experience. Here are some pics then I must be on my way to another game with a different set of kids. Too bad these aren't floor tickets!

You'll notice in the top picture exactly what the young man on the right is looking at...

24 Season 2

2007-01-15T20:12:00.000-06:00

This has been a blissful snow weekend. So far I have watched 18 episodes of the second season of 24.

There are a few things I would like to note about the second season of 24. I want to preface these statements by saying I do like the show and enjoy the very fictitious suspense-filled forty-two minutes of bliss each episode. However, there are some things I find rather cheesy. First of all, the Fox-made drama shows the well-respected President Palmer watching Fox News during a national crisis. I do love that plug for their sister station. A picture perfect attempt at brainwashing.

I also find it funny that the daughter of the guy who saves the country and even the world season after season has the worst luck of anyone in history. As a matter of fact, in the last fictitious eighteen hours of her life, she has been forced to kidnap the young girl she baby sits to save her from abuse, been stalked and beaten by the girl’s dad (who murdered his own wife over the course of the day), was blamed for the woman’s murder, arrested along with her boyfriend (who later had his leg amputated), been in a car wreck, caught in a wild animal trap after being lost in the woods, kidnapped in a nuclear bomb shelter by the man who rescued her from the trap, almost abducted when she was hitchhiking, thought her dad was killed, held hostage in a convenience store, and dumped by her amputee boyfriend. Whew! What a day. To think, she still has six hours to go. She might ought to just go to bed.

In the meantime, I am going to go wrap up season 2 to prepare of a day of season 3 during my snow day tomorrow.

A Good Day

2007-01-08T19:49:00.000-06:00

Today has been a good day. For the first time in three academic semesters I have Monday evenings free. I began my new and very welcomed freedom by exercising for about 45 minutes when I got home. It was SO great. I hope to keep this up two or three times a week until basketball season is over, then do it four or five times a week. I love the feeling of waking up sore the morning after exercising muscles I haven't used in a while. It is such a feeling of accomplishment and it makes me feel like I'm taking better care of the body with which the Lord has blessed me.

I also found out today that I have been chosen by the professors in my department as the outstanding graduate student for our department for my graduating class. I didn't even know that was an available honor. However, I am excited to have received it.

I am currently watching the BCS championship game. I thought it would be a beating when OSU scored 16 seconds into the game on the opening kickoff return. 4 minutes and 31 seconds later Florida scored. Less than 9 minutes after their first touchdown, Florida has scored another touchdown - this one somewhat controversial. This could be a beating the opposite way of which I originally thought. My only hope is that this is an exciting and close one. I wonder if the Heisman curse will have an effect on the outcome of this game...

Basketball!

2006-12-11T20:03:00.000-06:00

We took basketball pictures Friday night at practice. They are so great I wanted to share them. Thanks to the awesome coaches (Jennifer Thompson, Matt Gambill, Andrew Schwarz, and Sabrina Bryant) who have helped ease some of the burden of having over sixty players and twenty cheerleaders this year.

All the players, cheerleaders, and coaches

Coach Schwarz and the "blue team"

Coach Thompson and the "green team"

Coach Gambill and the "red team"

Coach Gambill and I with the "purple team"

My team for the past four years (minus last year's graduates)

Boys who believe they are better than LeBron James and their coach who tries to help them learn humility (maybe they should have had the coach who is known for humility)

It is amazing and humbling that this started out five years ago as a project to grow closer to the parents and families of the students in my own personal classroom. Now over a third of our 1st through 5th grade students are a part of this.

Granny Rainey

2006-12-10T21:37:00.000-06:00

I can't remember if I ever posted a picture of when "Granny Rainey" came to visit during our family unit at school. Just in case I didn't...

Jimmy Baby

2006-11-28T20:41:00.000-06:00

In the spirit of Christmas, I would like to share a little bit of my boyfriend with you all. Enjoy. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-QBmHnjX44

Motives

2006-11-16T22:21:00.000-06:00

Do you ever really search your heart and question the motives you have for doing something? I think sometimes one can be doing noble things but those things may not be noble at all because of where a person's heart is (though I believe good may still occur from the direct action itself).

As the late, great Avon Malone used to say, "Motives Matter" (though print does not do this phrase justice as you need to know just how brother Avon used to say it). That has had a profound impact on me for years since I heard him say it. This one simple phrase has caused more self reflection than any other words I have ever heard uttered.

What happens then, when your motives are two-fold? You have pure motives for doing something, but you also have secondary, sometimes involuntary, motives for something. What if your secondary motives fill your thoughts when you are trying to fight them off to dwell on the primary, more wholesome and appropriate motives?

Have any of you ever experienced this? What do you do in situations like that?

week in review

2006-11-05T12:23:00.000-06:00

This week I...
-Had two five year old students threaten to "pimp slap" someone
-Had another six year old student steal my cell phone
-Had one of the potential pimp slapping students tell my assistant that "his nuts hurt"
-Had six kindergarten girls fix my hair (my head is still throbbing)
-Was spat upon by a child on the granola bar aisle in WalMart
-Had the child's mom apologize and say he "needed a nap" (I think he needed a good butt whooping)
-Had three people cut in front of me when I was checking out during that same glorious WalMart experience
-Had a generally great week despite all of this

an excerpt from an email from my greatest friend in aisa

2006-10-31T18:24:00.000-06:00

My Dearest Joy,
I am really glad that received your email. How is you and your great family doing. I am doing just fine. I am in Hong Kong right now and doing the part time job for HP as saving enough money then I will go back to Taiwan on December...(selected text deleted)...How about you, any handsome guys crazy about you, dun tell me that you broke alot of hearts, you should give them some chance and space to chase you, at least let them to treat you a great free dinner, then say bye..........ahahha. Once again I do feel really happy you sent me an email, cause you are the only my best friend who from oklahoma still contact to me.
Best Regards
Your best friend forever
Dave
p.s. Btw if u have any plan to come to asia pls let me know. I will arrange the time for you.

If you have any doubt after reading this email excerpt why Dave is my best friend in Aisa (not to mention one of my best friends from anywhere), I'll be glad to tell you many, many, many Dave stories.
Imagine, if you will, a person with limited English in a canoe with a huge antsy dog on an extremely cold day...

Home Visits

2006-10-12T21:16:00.000-05:00

Tonight was an absolutely amazing night for me. For the first time I am making organized home visits to every student's home in my class (except for those parents who do not want me to come). Usually the first grade teachers make home visits around Christmas time and bring presents to their students. However, since I have several JW students this year, I decided to make my home visits coincide with P/T conferences. Tonight was the first of four nights for me to have conferences (three nights of which are full of home visits).

I made it to four homes tonight. At the first home I just kept thinking, "It cannot possibly get any better than this!" At the second home I thought, "Wow, this may even be better than the first one. It can't possibly get any better than this." I had the same thought at the third and fourth homes as well.

The parents were so welcoming! I was a bit concerned that some of them might feel like this was an invasion of their privacy, but they appeared to feel ecstatic to have me in their home. I guess those who felt like it might have been intrusive were the ones who opted out. When I arrived, most of the kids were waiting for me at the front door. When they spotted me, they screeched at the top of their lungs and came running out to greet me in the street. Once at their homes I got to see dogs, siblings, princess-clad bedrooms, and even a spinning Captain America action figure.

It is amazing to see how parents will open up even more than usual when you are on "their turf." It is also very special to see the pride children have in showing someone they care about and who cares about them their home. One little girl kept saying things like, "That's the one I was telling you about." It was exciting for her that I was making visual connections with the stories she's been telling me now for 40 school days. If I could bottle up the expressions on their faces and the joy in their hearts from tonight world peace would be possible. It was all so moving I was nearly in tears on more than one occasion. To see the love that a mother has for her children despite the odds that may be stacked against her and to see her rising above it all is inspirational to say the least.

As I read over this I can see that words cannot do this experience justice. Partially because it is not this sole experience that is so moving, but rather years of cultivating relationships with the same families and growing to love each member in that family - especially the single moms who are overcoming so many odds. It is knowing a child's first cousins, grandparents, aunties, likes and dislikes, favorite superheroes and cartoons, hurdles and successes, etc. etc. When you know families so well and the bonds you develop have permanently transcended all racial, cultural, and financial barriers it is a good feeling indeed. I LOVE my life's work!

Noteworthy pics from our 80's party

2006-09-24T21:28:00.000-05:00

I'm in love

2006-09-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a LONG time I'm officially in love. His name is John Krasinski but you may know him as "Jim." He is the funny and lovable paper salesperson from the NBC show "The Office." I think I am finally over my phobia of commitment. John is supposedly as hilarious in real life as he is on the show. You can check it out for yourself.

http://groups.msn.com/FortheLoveofJohnKrasinski/jkrasbio.msnw

I did not know it was possible to love a t.v. show as much as I have grown to love "The Office," but it is. I love it more than I ever loved Alias if you can believe that. There is no doubt it is the best show that has ever been on t.v.

putting the "wild" into the wildlife refuge

2006-09-13T21:51:00.000-05:00

Labor Day weekend was a time of camping, cooking out, scary stories, and getting wet from the monsoon. We pitched our tents, lit our coals, played some sticks (the camping version of spoons) and ate some Longhorn burgers at Meers www.meersstore.com . Here are some pictures that highlight the major events of our weekend.

I must say, these boys LOVE fire - even when it's pouring down rain outside!

Playing "spoons" camping style...with sticks.

The educational center was a blast!

Outside of Meers.

The whole group.

party like it's 1989

2006-08-19T00:04:00.000-05:00

No, the title is not a typo. I had the opportunity to go to a party tonight themed around the marvelous 80's. I love the eighties is not just the title of a VH1 series; it is truly how I feel. Not only did we celebrate the eighties with music and trivia, we also dabbled in a bit of karaoke.

My great friend Jennifer Curry (JC) and I, really rocked out to many great eighties songs. My favorites were the fast ones because we could use our saweeeet dance moves like the running man, the Roger Rabbit, the MC Hammer, and many more to compliment our howling along with the accordion-style music in the background.

I have neglected to mention the attire for the evening purposely because I was saving the best for last. Among other things, I observed crimped hair and wings, units belts and alternating sock colors. I was decked out in an Ocean Pacific shirt that widened at the bottom and had tails at the bottom of the back side. I had high feathered bangs, blue eye shadow, flavored peach-colored lip-gloss, thick blue eyeliner, plastic and cloth bracelets, a ring watch, a half side pony tail, French rolled jeans, alternating pink and blue socks, and tennis shoes. I also sported a lavender units belt and braided cloth headband. I was fortunate enough to tie for second place in the costume competition. I won an 80's workout record - complete with booklet that shows poses of the exercises.

All I can say is that Kathy Pollock throws one mean party. This one I shall ne'er soon forget.

my last few hours of freedom

2006-08-13T21:31:00.000-05:00

This is it. My last day of freedom is steadily coming to a close. I have really tried to take full advantage of these last few moments of solitude. In fact, I just finished the first chapter in my autobiography this evening. It is quite possible that this chapter will be the only one I ever write, but I hope to complete it someday. I'll just have to wait and see what my grad classes are like with the new professor we're getting. The anticipation is killing me.

Hope this post finds you all doing well. I will talk to you all in about nine months. :)

The 3nd Anniv. of my 25th Birthday

2006-08-01T23:46:00.000-05:00

Well today with my trustee pre-teen crew about me, I set out to celebrate my birthday which is coming up at the end of the week. Up until last year I think it had been about 11 years since I last celebrated the day of my birth. I believe I may have actually posted about last year's celebration early on in the life of my blog. That was one incredible day at Incredible Pizza.

"What could possibly top such an incredible time as had by all three in attendance last year?" is the resounding question on all of your minds I am certain. The answer to that is...Frontier City. So before the alarm had a chance to rip me from my too short of a night's sleep this morning, I was awakened by the sound of my phone vibrating from an eager parent. As I pulled myself out of couch (for that is where I slept last night), I started plotting how I could shorten the day for us because I knew I would not make it for 10+ hours with three pre-teen girls and a third grader at a theme park.

However, the day FLEW by. There were several memorable moments - most of which will not be addressed in this post. The first I can recall is when the child running the log ride serenaded us with a Backstreet Boy's song which one of the girls absolutely swooned over. This promptly prompted the pre-teen girls to devise a plan to "hook Miss Rainey up" with him. Despite my insistence that I was nearly old enough to be his mother, they were not to be dissuaded. Luckily, six trips down the big log flume hill later, Duncan (yes the girls were on a first-name basis with him) switched out with another teenage worker. Being glad that part of the day was over, we headed across the park.

Wouldn't you know that a few rides later we ran into Duncan who was now manning the bumper cars. While waiting for our turn to get on the bumper cars, the crew asked Duncan how old he was. Reluctantly (for their sake or mine I'm still unsure), he answered that he was in his twenties. As he walked away from that encounter the girls insisted he was the man for me. After explaining to them that although I was still sure I was very much his senior, even if he were close enough to my age, I didn't plan on dating a grown man who worked at Frontier City. To which they responded, "This could be his second job." They think of everything.

On our (or should I say their?) next encounter with Duncan, they got it out of him that he was 21 years old. When I gave them a definitive "no" for too much of an age gap Duncan proceeded to question why that was too much of an age difference. I did not dignify that with a response. He then proceeded to grab my hand and hold onto it on several occasions spouting cheesy rhetoric such as, "It's been a pleasure," etc. You can imagine the thrill that gave the matchmaking wannabees.

If that wasn't enough, when we went to McDonald's for supper, they were even more impressed when I was hit upon by the eighteen year old cashier who insisted upon making a new batch of sweet tea for me himself. After taking my seat around the corner, the girls returned to the counter to ask him how old he was. When he replied that he was eighteen all but one of the girls lied and said he was twenty-nine. When I started to load up in my car after we finished our meal, they decided to tell this young man that their teacher said, "What's up?" He told them to tell me, "What's up?" Is that a perfect match or what? Myself and the eighteen year old McDonald's cashier who doesn't seem to be all that bothered by the fact that I was born a decade before him. Hmmm.

Although I hold no hope for being paired up with anyone by any of my students ever (the list of their prospects for me is so long now it makes me a wee bit weary), the fact that two very young and - I must admit attractive - fellows hit on me despite the fact that I am turning 28 years old at the end of this week holds a bit of a thrill for me. No one ever hit on me when I was 18, 21 or anywhere in between, so the fact that as I grow older this happens frequently may either mean these kids are sick boys who have an Oedipus complex, or I'm just sick for being so flattered by it. Maybe it's a little bit of both...

I would like to add, for the record, I love being in my late twenties. This is the best time in my life without contest thus far. Everthing I say about the anniversaries of my birthdays is merely in jest.

Life

2006-07-27T22:53:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is a momentous occasion for me. I will be packing up and heading towards big Lawton to join about 50 or so of my high school classmates for a weekend of reminiscing. Yes friends, it has been ten years since I graduated from Big Mac. I have already seen from our reunion website (mhsclassof96.org) that many people have moved on to bigger and better or just different things, many are still in Lawton – some of whom married the only person they dated in high school, and sadly, there are some who didn’t live to see these ten years go by.

I have really pondered the brevity of life these past few weeks as I considered the finality of the lives lost in my graduating class alone. Consider George Ellis III. He was a kind-hearted individual who got along with just about everybody and always made me smile. He died in his early twenties in a car wreck. Then there’s Clayton Myers who shot himself in the head (reportedly in front of his family) when I was a freshman in college.

As I look around me there are so many people who are just living life trying to muddle through every day. For certain individuals this pattern simply repeats itself over and over and over…and over. This life can be an extremely long one for those who live that way. It can also be very short for those who don’t.

I have come to one, what I think is somewhat profound, conclusion about life: Those who seem to be miserable and are just trying to hack it seem to all have something in common…they lack purpose. Those who have a clearly defined purpose for themselves and the course of their lives seem to enjoy life so much more than those who have little or no purpose. For the muddle throughers, life drags on and on and there is seemingly no end to the mundaneness brought about by purposelessness.

You see these people all the time. These are the single people that think they will be happy if they can just find someone to marry. These are the married people that just wish they hadn’t married so young. These are the housewives that wish they were working, the working moms that wish they were housewives. This is the school teacher that lives for the weekends and summers. This is the parent who thinks it will all be better once the children are out of diapers, in school, grown... There are a million more examples. Why can’t people just enjoy being single, married, a parent, etc. It is because they have not found or created a purpose for themselves.

Every time in my life when I can remember it being a rough time or a time that just seemed to drag on forever is a time when I lost sight of my purpose. I hadn’t been self or otherwise diagnosed with purposelessness-itis, but I had it nonetheless. I have suffered from this several times over the course of my life, but I am currently blessed with a clear vision of my purpose and a lot of pity for those who haven’t found or can’t currently see theirs. So if you find yourself just trying to keep your head above water each day ask yourself: “Self, what is your purpose?” If you can truly answer that question or find the answer to that question, I think you will see that life is such a joy (no pun intended).

Big Ol' Hoopty

2006-05-24T22:36:00.000-05:00

Today after a tear-filled graduation ceremony (with me shedding most of the tears), Kelsey Rogstad and I took six kids to a celebratory dinner at Johnny Carino's. After many laughs with the kids and our extremely attractive waiter to whom the kids tried to give my phone number, we headed out to pile into my car and go to Wednesday night services. As luck or the hot weather (which is apparently a thorn in my car's flesh) would have it, my vehicle would not start.

As Kelsey could not fit all seven of us along with herself into the "golden nugget," I hatched a scheme. Since my car usually starts right up after it has had a chance to cool off (in two or three hours), I thought it might help if WE could assist in the cooling off process. I decided to slap it into neutral and let the kids, with Kelsey's guidance, push my car into the carwash next door. I expected that the cool water would expedite the cooling process and we could be on our merry way to Wilshire.

Just imagine the sight of those kids in their graduation clothes - girls in high heels with glittered faces and nails, boys in their Sunday best. We were quite a spectacle. With much effort and a lot of laughs they managed to get my car around the corner. Kelsey quickly put the five dollars in the machine and coached the kids on how to push the car in a manner where they would not get their dress clothes wet. After failing to get my car up the hill and into the wash once, we backed it down the hill and re-pushed it back up in an attempt to get enough momentum to put it into the proper place. Unfortunately there is a timer on the car wash. If your car hasn't pulled in by a certain time, the wash shuts off. By the time we got the car in the correct place, the time had expired.

Another five dollars later the sign lit up with the words "move forward." We decided that it would continue to say "move forward" until the censor was triggered at the entrance of the tunnel. Since my car was resting on the bump in the middle from the last five dollar effort, Kelsey decided to jump on the censor. The only problem with this idea was that when the entrance censor is triggered, water shoots up to wash the undercarriage of the car. This time however, it gave Kelsey her own personal crotch wash while at the same time spraying the kids who were standing behind her.

Let's recap. I am sitting in the car in the carwash tunnel. Kelsey looks as though she's wet her pants after jumping on the censor. The kids have been lightly showered with a car wash mist in the dressiest clothes they own. AND my car still isn't any closer to starting. At this point I gave up starting the car at any point in the near future. We pushed the car out of the tunnel, parked it in front of the gas station, and called Bill Rice (our hero for the evening) to come pick us up in the Rice minivan.

Fortunately, we got to services right after 7:00. All six kids went to the middle school class and thoroughly enjoyed it from what I can tell. After class was over they came running and screaming out of the classroom door telling me how they had attempted to get their teacher (who was married) to go out with me. When he informed them he was married, they asked him if he could "have two wives." In their little minds I'm stuck in this weird parallel universe between being a kid and a grown up because I'm not married and/or I don't have kids of my own. It is so funny to talk to them about it.

All in all, despite my frustration with my car which the kids have lovingly named "Big Ol' Hoopty," I had another million dollar moment tonight. If my future holds more evenings of cars not starting, I hope they are half as much fun as this one was.

Million Dollar Moments

2006-05-20T21:42:00.000-05:00

There are a few moments in life that I wouldn't trade for a million dollars. I might just create another blog someday where I post only about those million dollar moments. However, in the meantime, I will post one right here.

For those of you who know, even slightly, the students I work with every day, picture in your mind the one place on earth they would least likely belong. I'll give you a moment to think about it.

If you guessed a farm, you would more than likely be correct. However, there are three boys in my class this year that refer to themselves as "The Cowboy Triplets." They are in constant conversation about horses and cowboys.

Tonight I took those three boys and went with Miss Rogstad and a fifth grade boy to a farm out in Spencer. We rode horses, looked at pigs, chickens, goats, and even a turkey, and ate some BBQ when we came back into town.

It was funny to hear them talking about how gross "boo boo" is while avoiding stepping in the horse excrement. It was even funnier when they actually saw the horse expelling the waste. I thought I was going to have to carry one of them back across the field to the car because he was so disturbed that "horses go to the bathroom." After the initial shock of seeing fecal matter all over the ground wore off the riding began. Words can’t describe the magic in the eyes of the kids when they were on the horses. They were really in their element!

When we got back into town for dinner we were nothing less than a spectacle. One of the kindergarten boys was adorned in the cowboy hat I purchased years ago as a joke; another was sporting the boots I thought were so cool in the 9th grade. I'm so glad now that I threw neither of those away over the years. We were a sight to see! The transcending of cultural boundaries seems to delight not only those of us involved, but the individuals around us wherever we go. One such delighted (and patient) individual was the young cashier who helped us at Kansas City Blues BBQ. He was quite patient the whole time, even when one of the boys followed him into the back of the kitchen to get the "4 go boxes."

How not to embezzle

2006-05-15T19:59:00.000-05:00

Take a lesson from my sister’s stupid golf coach. If you are going to embezzle don’t do it in front of your starving players and their parents while neglecting a seriously ill player.

This week my little sister is at the Junior College Girls’ Golfing National Championship in Daytona Beach, Florida. Before she and the other players left, the AD’s secretary explained to them that they should spare no expense for their meals. They were to eat and eat well on the college while at Nationals. Steak houses were to be the standard. In addition to the good food, they were to stay two players per room in their hotel.

Their coach brought along his wife’s extended family and put three to a room to accommodate her relatives. In addition to that, he stuck one of his aunts in a room with some of the golf girls. Now, hotel accommodations are not a very big deal, I must admit. However, when you feed your players the free breakfast at the hotel (which I also have no problem with as an isolated event), give them a 99 cent bag of cookies and a twenty ounce bottle of water for lunch, and ask them not to select an item worth more than $6 from the supper menu, you begin to wonder where all the money went (especially with multiple contributions including a $10,000 contribution from the Pepsi Co. to help pay the girls’ expenses while at Nationals).

On top of all that, I would think it generally not a good idea to charge the rental van for the team to one of the team member’s parents’ credit cards. If you had indeed done so though, would it not be logical to disallow your eighteen year old nephew (who is staying in a room that was supposed to be for the golf team and is being paid for by the school) to drive the van? I would think this to be especially true when one of your players needs medical attention because she has most likely had, at the very least, a small heat stroke (because you didn’t give her any water when she was out on the sweltering course while you were doing who knows what). However, if you see fit to let your eighteen year old nephew drive the team van two hours down the road in Florida to pick up some more extended family – yes, who are also staying in a room that is supposed to be for the players – don’t be shocked when there are serious ramifications. If there is a sick young New Zealander sitting in her overly populated hotel room puking her guts out, you may want to offer her some medical attention, or at the very least, allow team members to do something for her.

Now, if you are a wise person, methinks it not an intelligent move to do all of this in front of the parents, some of whom have contributed to the girls’ Nationals’ fund. I also think it unwise to have these parent donors drive your golf team around while your uninsured family members are using the team van. It is a wonder how some people have the doggedness to actually attempt these feats in front of an audience. I think instead of worrying about whether or not he has a job when he gets home, he ought to focus his fret on whether or not he will go to prison.

Prayers Please

2006-04-30T22:45:00.000-05:00

Most of you know that my dad has spent the better part of the last thirteen years in bed. After cancer threatened his life my sophomore year in high school, doctors removed half of his pelvis. This resulted in the rapid deteoriation of his physical well-being.

Recently my father had his gall bladder removed. The surgeon who performed the procedure is a young, caring man who went above and beyond to help my father through the procedure. I have been corresponding with Dr. Harris ever since. He has been looking for someone with the capabilities to help my dad. He has located two doctors, both of whom are at the OU medical center, that may be able to do something for my dad.

We are at the point now where dad will have to be convinced to go see these doctors. He doesn't take suggestions like this lightly. Please pray that God will help him take that bold step.

a memorable northpark night

2006-04-18T22:04:00.000-05:00

I had such a great evening. I took D.J., Leighton, and Demicia to the 50 cent movie. We actually made it a double header. We started with Nanny McPhee, had a hotdog break, and then took in Hoodwinked.

About ten minutes into the first show, I heard a little voice two rows in front of me saying, "Mom, it's Miss Rainey." Every few minutes I would notice the top of this girl's head peaking over the back of her movie seat. She'd peep out a, "Miss Rainey," stick her little hand in the air and wave through the darkness, or stare for a few seconds. Her mom would try to get her to stop periodically. I think she was trying to prevent me from being annoyed. It was anything but annoying, especially while D.J. was sawing logs. I do not know how anybody recognized me in the dark with a snoring child on my lap.

The girl turned out to be one of my student's twin sisters. I had such a great talk with she, her three sisters, and her mom after the movie. These twin girls are so blessed to have two fabulous parents, two older sisters, and two older brothers who absolutely adore them. The older siblings are in middle school, so we only have the twins at our school. All eight of them went to the Hornet's game with us last week though and there are not enough words in the English language to describe how fun that experience was!

I have never seen two people make it look so easy to parent six children. This year, more than any other, I have enjoyed the realtionships I have with the parents of my students. I have gained so much from interacting with their families. This family is one that stands out even among so many good ones. I feel so blessed in life to have the privelage of interacting with such wonderful people.

Dancing Guy

2006-04-11T21:29:00.000-05:00

Check this guy out. He performed at the Hornet's game last Wednesday night. Hilarious!

http://jonathanarons.com/video.php

Here's another clip from which the name for my A league team, however short-lived those days were, was derived. I never knew where our name came from until this clip.

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/snl-more-cowbell.html

A Renewed Sense of Purpose

2006-03-25T23:36:00.000-06:00

Last night was the first night that I didn't cry myself to sleep. I actually got a decent night's rest. I've found it hard to avoid being grouchy at school since the tragedy. That is exactly what those kids DON'T need. The only thing that's kept me somewhat calm the last couple of days is that through all of the emotions I've experienced, the one that prevails during the day is hope. When I'm at home, I just can't help but cry most of the time. However, when I'm at school, I look into the eyes of these sweet and innocent children and a flicker of hope rises within me. I have a hope that somehow what I'm doing is not in vain. Somehow, I will be able to make a difference in some of their lives. Maybe I made a difference in Mack’s life, I know he made a difference in mine!

Today I received a phone call from one of my students. She got my cell phone number from a note I sent home to her mom about taking her to the movies. Her mom was at work today and she was staying with some of her cousins or aunties. She just called to shoot the breeze. She was soooo excited to be talking to me on the phone, but only about half as excited as I was to be talking to her. That's just what I needed during this time of sorrow. Moments like that help validate what I am doing with my life. Tomorrow, I will be taking her to see the Chronicles of Narnia as a reward for getting her name drawn from the "good behavior tub." I suspect that her older brother and sister will want to come along. I hope they do.

I had her older sister in class last year. First semester I enlisted the older sister's help in teaching my current student the sounds of the alphabet. I promised I would take them both to Sonic if she could learn all of her letters and letter sounds. They happily reported that when either of them got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom they would promptly wake the other one up and practice on the letters and sounds. Now that’s dedication! As you might suppose, she knows them all quite well now.

I have come to realize over the course of events that have transpired this week that I cannot protect these children from the harsh realities that surround them, but I can do my part to make their lives a little bit happier and hopefully more meaningful. When a child squeals at the sight of me and runs open-armed across the room to give me a hug it really makes my life meaningful. From there, all I can do is pray that no harm will come to them.

One of the sweetest children I ever knew

2006-03-22T19:57:00.000-06:00

I don't know that it's a good idea to blog in my current emotional state, however, I feel compelled to do so. Before I explain the reasons for my emotional state, I need to go back about five years.

As I entered Western Village Academy for my first day as an official employee I had the pleasure of meeting a kindergarten student (I shall not post his name for anonymity's sake) who was whimsical, outrageous, adorable, imaginative (more so than any child I have met since), entertaining, and a million other positive adjectives I could list. I eagerly awaited "share time" every morning to hear the outlandish and creative stories he would concoct with which to mesmerize the group. He was just that: a mesmerizing individual. I never heard anybody say a bad word about the child even when he pulled his pants down on the field trip to the pumpkin patch to prove to one of the adult chaperones that he was, in fact, a boy. This wonderful child was one of the two or three kids that kept pulling me back to Western Village during my year-long absence. The year I was gone, I often reminisced of my special moments with this young man.

Yesterday, this beautiful child was shot in the head through the front window of his house. He passed away about three hours ago.

I cannot put into words the emotions I have experienced in this last minute window of time (which has felt like an eternity). I have experience rage, hatred, bitterness, anger, sorrow, and many other emotions. I have heard the police say on the news that they don't know what prompted this 4:00 a.m. shooting. We all know. Everyone in the neighborhood knows. Probably half the kids in the school know, even some of the Pre-K kids. Neighborhood violence prematurely took this happy-go-lucky Angel from this cruel world.

I have had more thoughts in the past hour than I've had in a week. I wonder, "What am I doing in a place every day where many of my precious children are destined to be shot or even be the shooter themselves?" or "What is the point of me being here when violence and wrath is a way of life from which I can't protect these children?" or "What could I have done more than I did to make a difference in that child's life?"

The cards in the front passenger seat of my car that my current students made for him (along with one of my own) sit glaring at me as a chilling reminder that I can't take the cards to him. As I drove down the road to my house trying to see the road through a cloud of tears, noises of anguish came out of body as I did not know I was capable of producing. I am usually emotionless to a fault.

It is eerie how this child has come up in the thoughts and conversations of so many school employees so frequently in the past couple of weeks because though he lives a block and a half from the school, he had been attending a private school for the past year and a half.

None of this whole ordeal seemed real until he died. The school was abuzz with the news for the past two days, and I discussed it with colleagues myself. It was like I was talking about some fictitious movie. But this is real. This is the life a lot of my students live. This is what they have to live with every day and night and every 4:00 a.m. that rolls around. I sit in my nice little condo with my nice little life doing my nice little homework for my nice little grad school classes planning my nice little basketball tournament - for what? My life isn't reality - it's a picturesque little fairy land. Reality for a lot of people is not going outside to ride your bike because you're afraid. Growing up to do and/or deal drugs. Being the daughter of a prostitute that is murdered by a serial killer. Being a son who watches his mom's boyfriend kill his own mom. Getting shot in your own bed. How come I have it so good? How come I can't help people who don't? I have a lot of unanswered (and maybe unanswerable) questions right now. I did not make one of those things up. I have had a kid in my class that has had all those things happen to them except for the drugs which is inevitable for many of them. I don't know if I can take this. I don't know if I can face those kids in the morning or in days and weeks to come.

Spring Break

2006-03-15T15:08:00.000-06:00

It has been my pleasure over the last seven or eight years to spend all or part of my Spring Break in Memphis, TN. I am truly saddened that I will not be watching the ducks march down the red carpet to the elevator and on to their palace home atop the Peabody in Memphis this year. I am also extremely heartbroken that I will not be munching on slab after slab of pork ribs at Interstate BBQ (although I'm up for a little all-you-can-eat ribs at Kansas City Blues BBQ on Thursday night if anyone cares to contest my 16 rib feat).

HOWEVER, I am most certainly thrilled that Dick Vitale and I will be spending some quality time together where I can actually see some live action. For almost a decade now, I have had to catch up on the first and second rounds of MARCH MADNESS BABY! through the Memphis newspapers. Though I do not have cable, CBS and I will be tighter than a boy scout's knot for the next few days. I will also be in T.V. heaven when my dad gets out of the hospital (hopefully Friday night) as he has every sports channel imaginable and they're all in High Def.

Anybody care to make any predictions???

I simply want to say this: let's cheer hard for OU as they will need it in the second round
AND
can we cheer just as hard that Duke will be knocked out as quickly as possible?

Chillin'

2006-03-03T18:38:00.000-06:00

In a world where hurrying is the norm and I am no exception, I have decided to purge my life of several "extras" and spend more time slowing down. I have officially made the decision that this will be my last year to coach basketball. It has been a wonderful four years. I have been coach, friend, and surrogate mother to many girls throughout the course of this experience. Even as I type, my eyes begin to mist over the fond memories I have acquired from my time with the girls. In addition to the treasure of these relationships, I have also bonded with a few of the basketball parents in a way I never dreamed imaginable. I have learned a lot about myself and others thanks to this life experience.

But alas, the time has come for a new era in my life. This new phase will still consist of the majority of my old duties, but it will also include time to simply soak things in. This new chapter in my life has been slowly creeping in for the past five or six months. Tonight is a prime example. I got some take-out from Zio's, went to Lake Hefner, and sat on a park bench while the sun was setting. I watched the water, read a little bit of the Bible, and just relaxed. I am so content that I am finally in a place where I don't feel compelled and/or obligated to be productive every single second of every single day. I finally understand the value of taking time out for myself. I am convinced that this will help me be a more relaxed individual. I am certain that you will concur.

Procrastinating

2006-02-05T21:40:00.000-06:00

The most likely time to find me writing an entry on my blog is when I am hard-pressed to find some other form of procrastination to keep me from doing something I absolutely do not want to do which results in the feeling that I have no other option but to blog. Tonight the intended avoidable task happens to be reading for class. I have not read for class in nearly two weeks which nullifies all of the work I did my last two tube days to get "ahead." However, I have enjoyed my lack of effort which is why it's so hard to get back in the groove of being a faithful student.

As I was searching for other activities to occupy my time this evening (since the Super Bowl was less than entertaining) I decided that I needed to update my blog a bit. After many failed attempts to fix the "edit me" portions of my blog because I felt like I was reading directions in a foreign language when attempting to do so, I decided to simply write a new entry. At that moment, it occurred to me that I had never commented on the name change of my blog. That is what I now intend to do.

The original name of my blog was "Monotony Monopoly." While I feel that my life is monotonous, I do not like the negative connotation that particular wording implies. While it is synonymous with repetitiveness, it is also akin to dullness. My life is EXTREMELY repetitive, but I would not consider it dull at all. I am also not naïve enough to think I have a monopoly on monotony, though it sure did make for great alliteration!

I think I like my new title even better. I am quite possibly the most happy and fulfilled person I know, so the new title seems apropos. I have a feeling, however, that this name will not be the last. There shall inevitably be many more to come when I get tired of the current one. Variety is the “spice of life” and the title of my blog shall not be an exception to that rule.

the sweet smell of victory

2006-02-04T22:44:00.000-06:00

Those of you who know me, know that I am a pretty competitive person. However, when in competition with a member of the opposite sex (especially one who talks a big game) I am even more keen on being victorious. My mom always told me not to beat boys at anything because it hurts their ego too badly - maybe that's why I enjoy beating boys so much.

Last night I had the pleasure of running my male opponent into the ground in the all-around Incredible Pizza competition and I must say it gives new meaning to the word “Incredible” when you come out so far ahead. In this epic battle I achieved a 4-3-2 record taking basketball, DDR, Air Hockey (which was a miserable 7-2 loss for my opponent), and tic-tac-toe (previously won in class on Wednesday night). My opponent won the field hockey game (which broke after he scored a goal before the game was over – congrats to him on such a convincing victory), “Ice Ball” (which he won 26,000 to 25,000 after he missed altogether once when his ball ricocheted off the screen resulting in another try for his previous pitiful effort), and racecar driving (a true and convincing victory). We tied in gun shooting and miniature golf.

As if victory isn’t sweet enough on its own, my opponent foolishly agreed to wear a shirt boasting “loser” to class next week if I “happened to win.” You would suppose that he would have learned his lesson at Incredible Pizza. However, that is not the case. He prolonged his misery by playing me in Checkers and Battleship. I will leave it up to your imagination who won those two events that fortunately were not counted in our overall record because I care not to divulge that information.

tubing

2006-01-04T16:53:00.000-06:00

Oh what fun things I can think of to be associated with with the word "tube!" Water and snow are the first two that come to mind.

Here's a few words that I do not associate with the words "fun" and "tube." Stomach, nose, gel (for your nose before the tube is inserted into places it should not go), pH, digitrapper, medical study, $1800, IV, PREVACID (PUUUUKE! - literally), Nexium, Astra Zeneca, and the list goes on and on.

I am doing this second of two (and that is it!) medical studies because I thought it would be helpful to pay off the medical bills I incurred over the course of my unfortunate and expensive case of pneumonia. However, there is no fun in paying off medical bills at all! I pay thousands of dollars a year for top of the line insurance only to have to pay another thousand dollars when I get moderately ill??? That's sicker than I was with the pneumonia!

The aforementioned reasons are why I'm considering option B. Option B is that I find a willing travel partner, pick a place I've always wanted to go, and blow the hard-earned $1800 from the study on an extravagant trip somewhere. I would still have to pay my medical bills even if I had not gone through with this study so why use that money for bills? Wouldn't it be unfortunate to be paid to get sick so that I am able to pay for my expenses from when I was sick by chance? I certainly think so! That is why feel compelled to do something to feed my adventurous yearnings and conquer one or multiple items on my life's wish list.

Anybody in the mood to travel to Europe or New Zealand or even go on a cruise this summer? I'm leaning towards the Europe option because I have the desire to do that at least once while I'm still "young." I would love a traveling partner(s) who is/are fun, whimsical, witty, spontaneous, and flexible. If you're interested, let me know and I'll start looking for deals on Travelocity. I happen to be close, personal friends with the Travelocity gnome and may be able to secure an extra special rate. :)

LPC

2005-12-20T20:25:00.000-06:00

I may not be able to figure out how to check my grades online without the help of many poor UCO employees, but I did manage (despite my disgusting illness) to procure straight A's for the semester. I am extremely proud of this accomplishment since I produced a good portion of the work for this semester with a fever of 102+. This has helped me feel better about taking 9 hrs next semester as well.

By the end of this school year, in a little less than nine months total, I will have completed 18 out of my 33 hours for my masters degree. Once that 33 hours is complete, I will take 27 more hours and two tests to be eligible to get my Licensed Professional Counseling Certificate. Once I have passed both tests I will need to complete 3,000 hrs of counseling. Upon completion of these hours, I will be an official licensed professional counselor. I hope to use my LPC in a practice within the walls of Western Village serving the most needy of that population along with their families. I can't wait to be qualified to help these families in this capacity.

My Quiz

2005-12-13T00:03:00.000-06:00

I just took Blakewell's quiz and scored a 50. I missed out on a 60 because I talked myself out of TSO. DRAT! I know Blake's rule about waiting to listen to Christmas music until November 1st for others, so that threw me off. I'm sure, in retrospect, that he listens to it when he's alone or around people that don't strictly adhere to the timing of holiday music!

Here's my quiz. There's a special prize for anybody who can pass...
http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=051213010132-826666

Pneumonia

2005-12-04T16:23:00.000-06:00

Well, with all of the mental and physical infirmities that my family members possess, I have always thought that I was appreciative of my health. However, over the past two weeks, I have gained an appreciation I never knew was possible. As some of you are aware, I have had pneumonia for almost two weeks now. I had no idea it was possible to feel so rotten. After running a fever of over 102 degrees for nearly a week, the aching in my body was unfathomable. "Medicine" was not able to bring my fever below 101 during that time. Also fun is coughing up chunks of bloody mucus. The good news is I'm on the upward swing! I am feeling better though I am easily wearied. When I am back to 100%, I will be on cloud nine to say the least.

National Boards

2005-11-18T21:42:00.000-06:00

It is official! I am an official National Board Certified Teacher!!! I found out this morning at school and I am elated. I don't think I've jumped around and screamed like that since I was a small child.

2005-11-12T19:50:00.000-06:00

Today I went to the hospital after two of my basketball teams played their second games. Our "new" team tied (though the scoreboard indicated they won - I won't tell them any differently because they don't know up from down and dribbling from traveling). My "old" team won again. I feel sorry for their opponents. It is demoralizing to play girls who have the potential to beat you by fifty points.

This is the first time I've seen Deontae since they took out his trach. He's talking normally, verbally expressing his wants and needs. He looks like himself again. The place where the hole was (that the brain tube was in) is healing. The stitches in the other side of his head are out. His arms are no longer restrained. He is fully aware as to what is going on around him.

As some of you know, I was seriously considering taking D.J. into my home until Deontae comes home in about four months or so. I prayed a lot that whatever was best for D.J. would happen. As it turns out, D.J. is doing better with the situation in and out of school, so he will not be living with me for now.

Tony Hall is going to start some treatments on Monday, I believe. I have prayed for he and his family about a thousand times in the past week and a half. I have a peace about the whole situation that is unreal. I KNOW he will be okay. I was nervous before his surgery last week and quite emotional, but the more I pray, the more I am confident he will pull through unscathed (save the traumatic experience itself).

Jennifer Curry and I were eating dinner this week and talked about the spiritual guide Tony's been for us both for more than a decade. We both concurred that we could have very possible been unfaithful Christians right now if it weren't for his influence. I know he is needed here to make an impact for the kingdom. This ordeal he is dealing with right now will be a way to improve the faith of many once he is better. Keep he and his family, and Detra, Deontae, Leighton, D.J., Demicia, and Desha (their oldest sister that lives on the south side) in your prayers.

Study Break

2005-11-09T23:33:00.000-06:00

I find myself sitting here with the seconds, minutes, hours and days ticking away before the most ominous academic week in my life. With three major tests and a paper coming up next week, I'm drowning in academia. I find myself puttering along on the internet trying to contrive things I "need" to do to avoid one more second of studying in this heavy laden test preparation week. In fact, that is precisely why I am concocting a blog entry at this moment. I cannot possibly think about Albert Ellis one more second without throwing up my one-too-many Nutty Bars.

While I thoroughly enjoy the subject matter I have chosen to pursue at the graduate level, I am struggling with having to put every spare second into being studious enough to study for the looming exams. I sure better get an "A" on these suckers for all the effort I've put in.

Here's some food for thought. My good friend Blake, also known as Harry Potter, pointed out to me that I seem to have trends in my romantic interests and/or potential romantic interests. As I have laid to rest the Matthew era (four in a row is plenty for that name, I'd say), I've started a new trend. I would love to share with you what the new trend is in a more private context if you care to know. This one is even a bit comical considering my personality. I will be glad to share with you this new adventure in email form if your curiosity gets the best of you.

I guess this means the dating sabbatical is over.

Updates

2005-11-06T23:16:00.000-06:00

I went to see Deontae in his new room on Friday - he is now out of ICU. When I got to the hospital his speech pathologists were working with him. I was blessed to be the first non-medical staff person to hear him speak. When he said my name I got teary-eyed to say the least. I then got to feed him some dinner which he chewed and swallowed himself. He didn't keep that meal down, but he's kept every meal down since then. He is very agitated by the restraints on his arm (that prevent him from pulling out his trachial tube). He wants to just get up and leave and he doesn't know why he's in the hospital. His short term memory hasn't been working very well when I've asked him questions, so please pray that his short term memory is or at least will be okay.

The younger kids are having a hard time dealing with this, especially D.J. He is really acting out at school. Pray that he can adjust and that the staff at his new school will be patient with him, taking into consideration the emotional state he is surely in right now. I'm also discussing the possibility of D.J. transferring to Western Village and staying with me during the week with Detra. Pray about that for me please, because I need to get my ducks in a row if I'm going to be able to swing that. I know that would be beneficial for him, so if Detra agrees to it, I need to make it work some how.

Tony did not receive a good report after Thursday's procedure. They're going to try some aggressive chemo and radiation treatments now. He was supposed to be able to go home Friday, but now they're saying either tomorrow or Tuesday. Pray that the Lord will intervene in this situation. We need His help!

Deontae Update

2005-10-23T23:15:00.000-05:00

Deontae is going to make it! He is breathing all on his own now and they are going to take the tube out tomorrow. They have already taken out the tube in his brain because his ICP was stable. He is moving around quite a bit and I think he'll wake up before too terribly long. He is incredibly blessed to be alive. Please pray that this second chance in life will help him spiritually.

Update on Deontae

2005-10-18T00:37:00.000-05:00

Deontae's ICP (intra cranial pressure) skyrocketed late yesterday afternoon. His BP (blood pressure) also rose dramatically. They thought he may have had a stroke. This morning they did another cat scan (the fourth one so far) and found that he hadn't had a stroke after all. His vital signs are stabilizing again, and things are looking better today. Praise God for that! God is really working in this situation.

I have learned a lot about a culture very different from my own the past six days - one that I only thought I had learned a lot about over the past decade. This has been the single most educational experience that I can remember in my life thus far.

Dana, Dana, Dana!

2005-10-12T18:03:00.000-05:00

Okay, I had no intention of posting anytime soon, but I have no other choice after the email I just received from my mother. I am absolutely serious when I tell you that my own mom (whom I thought I had trained not to try to convince me to date when I didn't want to) sent me an advertisement and link for the infamous eHarmony.com. Take from that what you may.

Posting Strike Temporarily Lifted

2005-10-04T01:25:00.000-05:00

Well, for many reasons which I shall not go into right now, many of you (and, by that, I mean my single reader, Blake Blackwell) have been aware of my temporary blog posting strike. After a huge personal epiphany this evening, I have decided to temporarily lift this strike, as I feel I have something to say.

All my life, I have been a hard worker and someone who gets quite a bit done every day. I get probably five times done in a day as does the average person. Sometimes this is a very beneficial (efficient, as I like to think) quality, while at others times it can be an annoyance to me as well as to the people around me. A drawback to this efficiency for me is that I cannot leave things undone - especially in the area of helping children who need a hand up. I also have little or no patience with those who are able to ignore or forget about children in need. These constant projects leave me with little leisure time (though I thoroughly enjoy everything I do with these kids). For others, it can be frustrating, first of all, because I am spread so thin that it can be down right annoying, and secondly, because I don't have time to freak out about little things. Those who are, by nature, high-stress individuals, do not like it when other people "let things go."

These qualities I possess also, at times, drive me to attempt huge feats. Right now I am working like a dog (in addition to my full-time job, my four little league basketball teams, my jump rope team, and my full-time grad school load) to acquire some financial security and freedom - possibly through real estate investment. I am the type of personality who could easily become wealthy if I invested some of my time and effort into an endeavor such as this. I am, and have always been, aware of this potential, and in the past two weeks I have become arrogant and pompous in regards to these and other abilities. I've always been somewhat impatient with people who I (maybe unnecessarily and undeservedly and maybe not - though it is irrelevant) deem as unmotivated or even somewhat senseless, but my superiority complex has reached an all new level recently.

I came upon this realization this evening as I was discussing this issue with someone, who for some wildly odd reason of which I know not, has the ability to bring out and amplify the most negative characteristics that I have (through no fault or prompting of his own). I have to say though, that after realizing my thought processes in talking to this person tonight, I am a little bit fearful of my selfish attitude. I even said myself at one point, "That is not very Christian of me, BUT..." There is no but there. That should be the end of it for me.

I have to admit that as I worked myself up into a self-loving frenzy, I realized that I am becoming too independent. Jesus is the person I need to be on my knees thanking for my good fortune, happy life, and most importantly, salvation. I am such an independent person, that I tend to rely solely on myself. The only problem with that is, I am NOTHING on my own. May the Lord forgive me for my haughty attitude, and may I come to rely more on Him in the future after coming to this realization!

Update on this blog:
I have decided through much prayer and discussion with other Christians that I am not going to pursue real estate investing or other financial opportunities at this time. Though it is often difficult to make ends meet with a mortgage, a car payment, student loans, etc. on a single person income, I am not on this earth to be monetarily rich. I am rich in the love of children, the love of friends, the love of family, and most importantly - the love of God. That is all I need. While it would be nice to go on a cruise every once in a while, to take more trips to see my family, and other things that cost money that I don't have the funds to do, what I do get to do every day is far more fulfilling and important in the grand scheme of things and doesn't cost me anything.

william's words of wisdom: insight of a first grader

2005-09-19T23:59:00.000-05:00

and I quote:
"I want to tell you about a wittle fwen. He may be here, but he's pwobly not. Stevie, are you here? Stevie, if you're hewe, would you please waise up? Hi Stevie. I'm done."

Educational Research

2005-09-18T23:27:00.000-05:00

Okay. I think it is safe to say it. I ABHOR Educational Research. If I ever had fleeting thoughts that it would be fun to do research (which I am now ashamed to say I've had before), I will NEVER have those impure thoughts again. For me, reading a study about a topic that has absolutely no interest to me whatsoever is about the most painful form of punishment I could ever imagine. Not to mention, I have no idea what any of it means.

If someone offered me a chance to clean public toilets (which is my number one phobia) at a place such as a gas station (obviously the dirtiest of all public restroom facilities), in exchange for a free "A" in Ed. Research, I would take it in a heartbeat. I would spend an equal amount of time scrubbing and disinfecting as my classmates spent in class. It would be worth it indeed!

On the other side of the coin, I LOVE Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy (despite the fact that Freud puts the psycho in psychotherapy). I also adore my Intro to Guidance and Counseling class. I feel like I've gained more knowledge in the last month from those two classes than I did in all of my undergraduate years. Of course, my major was early childhood and elementary education, so there wasn't much in those classes but doing things like painting construction paper with strings. UGH!

new business

2005-09-17T14:25:00.000-05:00

Jillian and I, as some of you already know, have the grand idea that we are going to start a huge business this summer. We are not, at this time, divulging what type of business it is, as we don't want some big corporation to hear about it through the grapevine and steal our idea.

So far, I've done a fair amount of research for this. I have searched the world wide web to see if this type of business already exists (especially with the catchy name we've chosen, which if already taken, would cause our business to suffer greatly). Although this type of business doesn't exist to my knowledge, many people, including bloggers, have said they would love it if there was a business such as ours.

Our business, if we can find the proper amount of grant money to get started, will be an immediate success. There will soon be chains all over the country and potentially the world if we can just find the funds to start us off. Our first order of business (this Tuesday) is to sit down and write out our priorities. We don't want to be corrupted by money, success, and potentially fame. We are going to write down what our goals are and how our money could help the church and our community of kids and adults at Western Village. Next, we are going to write down what we will and won't allow ourselves to spend money on once we have such an immense amount of cash flow coming in. Thirdly, we will be writing out our formal business plan which is to be presented to a very influential woman entrepreneur here in OKC.

We are already finding that we have contacts to help point us in the right direction for acquiring the necessary funds. I will also be attending a government grant seminar this coming Saturday to learn about how to apply for grants for small businesses and women. I hope that the information proves useful!

I can't wait until we can tell everybody what our plans are!!!!!!!

and so it begins

2005-09-16T14:37:00.000-05:00

Last night I had my first grad school test. It was easy enough and I'm pretty sure I got an "A." However, I will be spending the bulk of my weekend studying for the painful brute of a test I will be trying to conquer on Monday. This is while I'm in the midst of a plethora of papers, projects, and attempts at successfully systematically desensitizing someone of a phobia before the semester begins. In the mean time I have come to the conclusion that counseling is usually where someone pays someone else to listen to them like their friends should be doing. I am thankful to have friends and family who listen to me for free!

a class from "you-know-where"

2005-09-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

Last year, as the readers of my blog may well know, I had the class that the rest of the school referred to as the "class from you-know-where." I loved those kiddos and I miss them this year, but it was tough last year especially considering the fact that I was doing my National Boards with a particularly tough group. I love to visit them this year in their first grade classes though. It brightens my day to see them in a way that words cannot express!

This year, I have another class from you-know-where. This class is straight from heaven. They are so well-mannered and I LOVE to TEACH them. They are more like little sponges than any group I've ever had!!! They are so kind to each other and to me.

One little boy in my class who knows me well (because I've coached his older sister in basketball for two years) brought me a nice vase and a boquet of flowers the second week of school. He draws pictures in his "journal" every day of he and I doing things such as jumping on trampolines, riding horses, and petting dogs together. My personal favorite is when he draws a picture of us getting married and riding off in a limo together. I must say, through the hand of a five year old, I make a beautiful bride!

I would love nothing more than to talk about each of my students individually because they are all SOOOOO special and wonderful. I guess I won't for my few readers' sake, however. I wish that all of my readers, friends, and family could find happiness in their chosen occupations as have I.

Tony Hall

2005-08-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

Tony is awake and coherent. They know now that it is a brain tumor. They aren't going to do a biopsy yet because of the risk of memory loss. They will remove it in the near future. I'll try to keep updates coming...

Graduate School

2005-08-30T20:04:00.000-05:00

Call me crazy, but I absolutely LOVE putting on my backpack, leaving a school full of small children, and going to a classroom where I can be the one that is akin to a "sponge" for once. Though there may be some periodic dry patches in the class lectures that I am hearing, for the most part I fell like I am retrieving some of the scholarly attributes I have sacrificed for the greater good of people who are "knee high to a grasshopper" over the past several years. The older I get and/or the more I learn, the more it dawns on me that I want to experience so much more than I ever had the desire to early on in life. Not only do I want to be an L.P.C. now, but I also want to be an educational researcher. Not that I actually want to be an educational researcher in reality, mind you, but when I'm sitting in class listening to the research lectures I think to myself, "Self, you could do that. You should do that at least once before you die." Here is a list of other things I (in theory) want to do or habits I want to form before I die (these are in order of their importance to me for the most part at this particular moment):

1. Backpack through New Zealand
2. Gallivant around Europe (for at least three weeks)
3. Spend my summers in PNG (once I've done 1 & 2)
4. Invent something that other people think, "Man! Why didn't I come up with that?" and that will make me an instant millionaire
5. Be a mother
6. Finish my Master's Degree in a year and a half
7. Finish my L.P.C. in just as an unrealistic amount of time as my master's
8. Actually incorporate my dictionary.com word of the day in conversation EVERY day
9. Do my Core Secrets workout 4-5 times a week
10. Become good at soccer
11. Write my autobiography and/or a hilarious screenplay

By the way, my mom and I realized last night that IF I pass my boards, get my masters, and get my L.P.C. I will be:
Joy Rainey N.B.C.T., M. Ed., L.P.C.
You better believe that I will insist upon you referring to me with that title for at least a month after I've completed all three!!!! :)

the new man in my life

2005-08-24T01:28:00.000-05:00

As of 4:50 in the a.m. this 23rd day of August, I have a new man in my life. He weighs 8 lbs 5 oz and is 21 inches long. His name is Luke (hopefully Rainey, but probably Ryan) Odle. He can never replace the first man in my life with a noble stature of just a pinch over three feet. However, I will love him just as much, simply in a different way. With extremely long fingers, a laid back disposition, and the infamous "Rainey nose," there will never be another like him. Maybe he will even call me Aunt Joy early on (as opposed to Aunt "Der"). Regardless of what is to come, I am thrilled and ecstatic about this new bundle of aunt Joy's.

soccer time!!!!!

2005-08-23T01:19:00.000-05:00

Although I have been enjoying playing for the Mem. Rd. singles group soccer team; I have to say I am more than thrilled at the reprisal of the infamous Rescorers. I was already aware of that fact but became even more so when the ISA front desk guy with the crazy long curly mad scientist hair and funny sock wearing habits torted, "You guys are finally coming back, huh?" when I turned in our registration fees. Ours is a team that will go down in the annals of ISA history I do believe. If you are as excited as me, come on out and support us Saturday night (tentatively at 9:30).

Potter Vs. Copperfield

2005-08-17T00:48:00.000-05:00

Strictly adhering to the promise I have made to both Maddux and Blakewell, I have now embarked upon reading one of the Harry Potter books (simultaneously with the DaVinci Code and Black Students Middle Class Teachers of course). I have chosen to begin with the fourth one so that I can be sure and have the time to finish it before the much-anticipated fourth movie comes out.

In my last post, Maddux and Crazy Legs bantered in the comments section about who was better: Harry Potter or David Copperfield. In contemplating this - however prematurely it may be to do this since I am only in the second chapter in The Goblet of Fire - I find that you cannot choose between an apple and an orange. I have to admit that a lot of my comparisons (in this post) are and will be based on what I know of Harry Potter from the first three movies. When I indeed finish the book, I will most likely need to reanalyze my position.

The Goblet of Fire is thrilling and suspenseful. David Copperfield, on the other hand, truly does have some of the best character development of all times while simultaneously having its own share of thrill and suspense - merely in a different way. Both sagas are filled with gripping mystery. Each of the heroes is an underdog, in his own and similarly tragic right. You are drawn to pull for them to be victorious over the villainous creatures around them with every fiber of your being. You can't help but fall in love with them both. While Harry Potter certainly has no Agnes, I cannot think of a single character that Harry Potter has who doesn't have an equal or superior rival in David Copperfield (and I have truly given it much thought).
Here are a few of the parallels I have made:

Mr. Murdstone - Mr. Dursley
Miss Murdstone - Mrs. Dursley
James Steerforth - Draco Malfoy
Uriah Heep and Mr. Littimer - Crabbe and Doyle (though not a tenth as sinister)
Miss Betsey Trotwood - NOBODY! (as there is no one like her in the past, present or future to be sure)
Peggoty - Professor McGonagall or Mrs. Weasley (either of which is surely a stretch)
Mr. Peggoty - Dumbledore (though intellect be on the side of Albus)
Mr. Dick - Hagrid
Agnes - NOBODY!
death - him who's name should not be spoken

Tommy Traddles (younger) - Neville Longbottom

Tommy Traddles (older) - Ron Weasley

Sophy - Hermoine (for she's no Agnus)

Dora, Ham, Emily, Mr. Barkis - nobody

I am obviously leaning towards Trot and the gang which I am biased towards seeing as how I just finished it today. I cannot wait to reevaluate my position upon completion of the next 700 or so pages of what is sure to be a good read. I will let you know what the verdict is.

J.R.

let us have no meandering

2005-08-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

I was recently inspired by a dear friend to pick up and read the classic novel David Copperfield. Today as I spent some time waiting in Books-a-Million (what an American name!) while my oil was being changed across Penn at Wal Mart, I decided it was the right occasion.

As I sat down in the Joe Muggs coffee shop and eagerly began what is sure to be a great ride, I was forced to relocate to the back of the store due to a Yu-Gi-Oh card battle between several diverse men of all ethnicities and ages. After the bewilderment from the bizarre aforementioned scene, I dove in, overcome with anticipation.

The first chapter was great. I felt myself assuming the pain of those around Miss Betsey, but not without several intermittent bursts of giggling. My personal favorite was when Miss Betsey insisted, "Let us have no meandering." That was when I made up my mind not to like her (while still, let me make this clear, enjoying the entertainment she provided).

Chapter 2 was even better, as the giggling graduated to laughter. I could hardly bring myself to put it down so I could retrieve my car. Were it not for VBS this evening, I think I should have abandoned my Aztek for quite a lengthy period of time to find out what kind of a weasel Mr. Murdstone actually is.

I am eagerly awaiting the adventures and mischief that are sure to unfold from this celebrated work. I could not have imagined admiring another one of Dickens' works as I do Great Expectations, but as it stands, it could be a tight race. I will surely keep you informed!

Date of Birth

2005-08-06T22:21:00.000-05:00

I recently celebrated the third anniversary of my 24th birthday. Over the past decade, birthdays have come and gone with little or no activities taking place to commemorate the auspicious occasion. This day was clearly an exception to the rule. After a good two months of planning with a soon-to-be second grader from school, a party for the two of us was about to take place since our births occurred on the same day exactly twenty years apart.

As I picked up Kimberly and Ashley, her older sister, from the African Food Store/Hair Weave Shop that their parents own, I was greeted with a screaming hug from their mother who had been in Africa since June. She had purchased an African wall-hanging while on her trip to see some of her other children still living there which she presented me for my birthday (as she had been apprised of the outing the girls and I were to have one day after her return). What an impact it had on me to know that she thought of me while in Africa!

Once we arrived at Incredible Pizza (which lives up to its name and more I might add) the fun began. I had snuck in a red velvet birthday cake to surprise Kimberly with and as she went back to the food bar to get a refill on her Sprite, I quickly stuck in and lit the seven candles. What a wonderful feeling to see the look on young Kim's face as she gazed upon a cake she had never before tasted (when later asked what her favorite kind of cake was she responded without hesitation that it was red velvet).

After food and cake, we went on to bumper cars which cannot be described in words because of the immeasurable amount of fun they produced. Next was go karts where the teenage boy running the track stopped the boy's car in front of us so that Kim and I would win. I guess he was struck by her "birthday girl" ribbon. :)

When the fun was over at Incredible Pizza, it was on to tour the Lighthouse medical clinic. Kimberly and Ashley are both hoping to go into the medical profession someday, so I thought it would be fun for them to see the clinic. As luck would have it, the young children's class at Lighthouse that day was having a party. So after picking up D.J., LaeLae, and Meicia, we headed back to Lighthouse for class where they all received Happy Meals and watched a portion of "Fraggle Rock." Today's generation just doesn't appreciate that classic, I am sorry to report.

Upon completion of our class party it was on to watch Miss Rainey, Joy, or "Auntie" play soccer depending on who you were talking to. I hope someday you can know the feeling of complete fulfillment you have when five neighborhood kids are yelling your name nonstop for fifty minutes at a sporting event for which they know nothing about. I have never experienced anything like that in all my 24 + 3 years. It was the most gratifying birthday moment I've ever had and probably ever will have.

All in all this was a birthday that I will never forget. Maybe next time I can expound on the Doctor's visit with D.J. that night at the medical clinic. For now, I'm out.

blog's up

2005-08-05T20:50:00.000-05:00

I have given in to the peer pressure and finally set up a blog.