How not to embezzle

Take a lesson from my sister’s stupid golf coach. If you are going to embezzle don’t do it in front of your starving players and their parents while neglecting a seriously ill player.

This week my little sister is at the Junior College Girls’ Golfing National Championship in Daytona Beach, Florida. Before she and the other players left, the AD’s secretary explained to them that they should spare no expense for their meals. They were to eat and eat well on the college while at Nationals. Steak houses were to be the standard. In addition to the good food, they were to stay two players per room in their hotel.

Their coach brought along his wife’s extended family and put three to a room to accommodate her relatives. In addition to that, he stuck one of his aunts in a room with some of the golf girls. Now, hotel accommodations are not a very big deal, I must admit. However, when you feed your players the free breakfast at the hotel (which I also have no problem with as an isolated event), give them a 99 cent bag of cookies and a twenty ounce bottle of water for lunch, and ask them not to select an item worth more than $6 from the supper menu, you begin to wonder where all the money went (especially with multiple contributions including a $10,000 contribution from the Pepsi Co. to help pay the girls’ expenses while at Nationals).

On top of all that, I would think it generally not a good idea to charge the rental van for the team to one of the team member’s parents’ credit cards. If you had indeed done so though, would it not be logical to disallow your eighteen year old nephew (who is staying in a room that was supposed to be for the golf team and is being paid for by the school) to drive the van? I would think this to be especially true when one of your players needs medical attention because she has most likely had, at the very least, a small heat stroke (because you didn’t give her any water when she was out on the sweltering course while you were doing who knows what). However, if you see fit to let your eighteen year old nephew drive the team van two hours down the road in Florida to pick up some more extended family – yes, who are also staying in a room that is supposed to be for the players – don’t be shocked when there are serious ramifications. If there is a sick young New Zealander sitting in her overly populated hotel room puking her guts out, you may want to offer her some medical attention, or at the very least, allow team members to do something for her.

Now, if you are a wise person, methinks it not an intelligent move to do all of this in front of the parents, some of whom have contributed to the girls’ Nationals’ fund. I also think it unwise to have these parent donors drive your golf team around while your uninsured family members are using the team van. It is a wonder how some people have the doggedness to actually attempt these feats in front of an audience. I think instead of worrying about whether or not he has a job when he gets home, he ought to focus his fret on whether or not he will go to prison.