Big Ol' Hoopty

Today after a tear-filled graduation ceremony (with me shedding most of the tears), Kelsey Rogstad and I took six kids to a celebratory dinner at Johnny Carino's. After many laughs with the kids and our extremely attractive waiter to whom the kids tried to give my phone number, we headed out to pile into my car and go to Wednesday night services. As luck or the hot weather (which is apparently a thorn in my car's flesh) would have it, my vehicle would not start.

As Kelsey could not fit all seven of us along with herself into the "golden nugget," I hatched a scheme. Since my car usually starts right up after it has had a chance to cool off (in two or three hours), I thought it might help if WE could assist in the cooling off process. I decided to slap it into neutral and let the kids, with Kelsey's guidance, push my car into the carwash next door. I expected that the cool water would expedite the cooling process and we could be on our merry way to Wilshire.

Just imagine the sight of those kids in their graduation clothes - girls in high heels with glittered faces and nails, boys in their Sunday best. We were quite a spectacle. With much effort and a lot of laughs they managed to get my car around the corner. Kelsey quickly put the five dollars in the machine and coached the kids on how to push the car in a manner where they would not get their dress clothes wet. After failing to get my car up the hill and into the wash once, we backed it down the hill and re-pushed it back up in an attempt to get enough momentum to put it into the proper place. Unfortunately there is a timer on the car wash. If your car hasn't pulled in by a certain time, the wash shuts off. By the time we got the car in the correct place, the time had expired.

Another five dollars later the sign lit up with the words "move forward." We decided that it would continue to say "move forward" until the censor was triggered at the entrance of the tunnel. Since my car was resting on the bump in the middle from the last five dollar effort, Kelsey decided to jump on the censor. The only problem with this idea was that when the entrance censor is triggered, water shoots up to wash the undercarriage of the car. This time however, it gave Kelsey her own personal crotch wash while at the same time spraying the kids who were standing behind her.

Let's recap. I am sitting in the car in the carwash tunnel. Kelsey looks as though she's wet her pants after jumping on the censor. The kids have been lightly showered with a car wash mist in the dressiest clothes they own. AND my car still isn't any closer to starting. At this point I gave up starting the car at any point in the near future. We pushed the car out of the tunnel, parked it in front of the gas station, and called Bill Rice (our hero for the evening) to come pick us up in the Rice minivan.

Fortunately, we got to services right after 7:00. All six kids went to the middle school class and thoroughly enjoyed it from what I can tell. After class was over they came running and screaming out of the classroom door telling me how they had attempted to get their teacher (who was married) to go out with me. When he informed them he was married, they asked him if he could "have two wives." In their little minds I'm stuck in this weird parallel universe between being a kid and a grown up because I'm not married and/or I don't have kids of my own. It is so funny to talk to them about it.

All in all, despite my frustration with my car which the kids have lovingly named "Big Ol' Hoopty," I had another million dollar moment tonight. If my future holds more evenings of cars not starting, I hope they are half as much fun as this one was.