The Non-Relationship

Have you ever been in a non-relationship? You know what I mean. The kind of relationship in which you are dating without calling it by that name? Whether you have a physical relationship or not, you can be dating a person without saying you are.

I am a person who seems to non-date far more often than actual dating. I guess I just convince myself after each non-dating experience that I would never allow myself to non-date again (because those types of relationships don't usually end well, do they?) so I will go on for weeks, months, or even years non-dating a person because I've fooled myself into thinking that I'm not non-dating because, as I've already stated, I won't allow myself to do that.

Have you ever non-dated? Have you ever mentally beat yourself up because you allowed yourself to non-date - even if unwittingly so (possibly due to your superior ability of denial)? I wonder if the next time I non-date someone I will be able to identify the fact that I'm non-dating them BEFORE it doesn't end well and causes permanent damage to an otherwise magnificent friendship. Maybe if I would just actually allow myself to date (not just in deed, but also in name), I wouldn't end up non-dating so much. Hmmm, I guess I'll try that out soon...